Expander Half-full

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 2012 7:44 AM, EST

Expander Half Full

It's no secret that when Dr. Hargis made the "Now, this doesn't really makes sense" face and dubbed my 32 year-old breast tumor an "old lady tumor," I made a not-so-tough decision to go to MD Anderson for a second opinion. During that trip, Mama and I visited MD Anderson's Cancer Resource Library, which was just that - a library that had every book, periodical, or medical magazine dedicated to cancer. It was mesmerizing, and somewhat entertaining. That was where I found the book Lopsided by Meredith Norton. While I only read a few excerpts before shelving the book, I vowed to revisit the memoir of a breast cancer survivor after I made an effort to publish my own (which I still haven't found the time to do). Her words were striking, and I giggled at the idea of being "lopsided."

In Chapter 10, Meredith (a 34 year old mother of an 11 month-old at diagnosis) explains how she felt while telling her friends about her diagnosis of Stage III Inflammatory Breast Cancer:

"Then there were people I ran into around town. They were initially angry that I was home and hadn't called them. One woman said I had better have a damned good reason. When I said I was about to start chemo she laughed and then burst into tears in the middle of the street, where I left her. I had to get to the bank before it closed. Although tempted to feel bad about abandoning her there, I couldn't be bothered. There was enough on my mind without adding other people's mourning processes to my plate." 

Can't say I haven't been there. At any rate, Lopsided is not for the easily offended...but then again, neither am I.

Now, of course, the idea of being "lopsided" isn't as funny. Surgery went very well yesterday. My right expander was replaced with one that does not leak, and in less than an hour at that. Recovery was quick - I am fortunate to handle anesthesia so well. The recovery nurses commented on how nice it was to see someone smiling in recovery. 

Dr. Q replaced the expander and filled the new one up to about half the volume of the first...hence, lopsided. Quite honestly, I don't notice a difference in the size of it now and the size last week. The reason for this half fill is that my incision has to heal before he can start stretching my skin and muscle again, otherwise the incision would stretch instead of the skin. I'll see Dr. Q in a couple of weeks to see when we can start the expansion process again. Until then, I'll just have to be lopsided, or as I prefer to look at it: an expander half-full!