Turkey and Tassels

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2011 2:35 PM, EST

Turkey and Tassels

Gaiam Pilates. Windsor Pilates. The Firm. Billy Blanks' Tae Bo. Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. Carmen Electra: The Lap Dance. The Method: Cardio Boot Camp. These are all workout videos that I own. From time to time, each one has been my favorite. Nobody kicks your butt like Billy Blanks...except maybe Jillian Michaels. And nothing is as calming as Pilates. But nothing, I mean nothing in my workout DVD stash is as much fun as Carmen Electra's Lap Dance Video!

Mama is the middle of three girls, one of many things other than genes that we share in common. Her older sister Laslie had the first of 6 grandchildren to my Granny. Sam is my only male cousin on Mama's side. Sam grew up in Birmingham, while the rest of us cousins lived in Montgomery. Sam was always at the table for Thanksgiving dinner, but was never a fan of the typical Thanksgiving food that blanketed Granny's dining room table - turkey, cornbread/oyster dressing, Ocean Spray canned cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, squash casserole, sweet potato casserole (yeah, another casserole!). Thanksgiving dinner was truly a feast with all of the trimmings. And we still pick on Sam because he was not a fan of the feast. So every Thanksgiving, my Aunt Laslie and Uncle Sam would stop at Wendy's on the way into Granny's to feed Sam before lunch. It cracked us girls up for two reasons: 1) Our Mama's never would have fed us fast food in lieu of any dinner, more or less Thanksgiving, and 2) Who in their right mind wouldn't want oyster dressing and canned cranberry sauce?! And I ask that with the utmost sincerity!  

Thanksgiving dinner always seemed more loud and joyful than other family get-togethers. Our family of (mostly) women gives new meaning to the term "Chatty Cathy." Cathy has nothing on us! It's kind of a prerequisite for the women in our family to be able to carry on multiple conversations at one time. And this is why: If you can't listen to the conversation next to you while you carry on one of your own, someone next to you is either talking about you, or you are missing something interesting. If you can't manage to converse in this manner (with a personality), you may as well pack it up and have dinner at your in-law's house. We're a tough group to crack, but when you are in, you're in.

Like all of us girls, Sam grew up, got married, and started a family. Who knew that this die hard Auburn fan would marry a die hard Bama fan?! Sam is the biggest Auburn fan that I know, and this just seemed like a tragedy (kind of like that football game this weekend if you were an Auburn fan)! And then I met her - Lyndsey is a BLAST! And she fits into the family like a piece of a puzzle that was always missing. She gets chatty with the best of us, and she holds her own in the conversation. And she knows how to host a party! Their wedding was classically beautiful, but their wedding reception was the most fun. I will never forget how her cake glittered with sugar - gorgeous! The music was good, and the guests were dancing the night away. Finally, it was time for us to leave. My cousin Ann and I somehow ended up in lobby of the Vestavia Hills Country Club, doing the moves to Carmen Electra's Lap Dance workout video in unison. Keep in mind we were sober...and attending an absolutely beautiful wedding reception. While it sounds completely inappropriate, there were no witnesses who are willing to step forward, and even our Mamas found it pretty funny. It was a nice ending to a beautiful evening. The point is, you never know when your workout routine will come in handy...or who else may know it.

Last Monday I went in to the Filling Station. I'm going to borrow a term coined by a mother-daughter duo I've never met - Dr. Quintero injected 50mL's of saline into my tissue expanders, and I now have "booblets!" He placed two L-shaped needles with tubes hanging from them in the ports of my expanders. Dr. Quintero and Nathan made some reference to tassels, and I said, "Damn! It's too bad there's not a back story for that!" Little did I know how well it would fit with the the Lap Dance story, even if it was just a workout video! It was about that time, too, that I became a little woozy, uncrossed my legs, and concentrated on my breathing. Something about looking down at two needles sticking out of my chest kind of got to me. I was fine, but I didn't need to look at the tassels again. Dr. Quintero injected the saline. It's pretty crazy how much pressure that is - it suddenly feels like a couple of cement blocks are sitting on your chest for a few minutes. I guess that's the expansion. When he was done, he placed small round band-aids over the injection sites. It was so fun to have mock nipples that I left them on for a week!

Dr. Quintero mentioned that he had spoken to Dr. Hatmaker (my mastectomy surgeon). She warned him that Dr. Hargis (my Medical Oncologist) was strongly leaning toward the need for radiation due to my age. All other factors in my case lean against radiation, but my age tells them to treat me as aggressively as possible. My appointment with Dr. Paris (my Radiation Oncologist - and who can keep up at this point?!) was scheduled for today, and she gave me some pretty amazing news - we are NOT doing radiation! While she wants to treat me as aggressively as possible, the long term affects of radiation in my case outweigh the health benefits. This is WONDERFUL news, because not only does it mean that I am DONE with treatment, but it also means that I can get on with my every day life and that my reconstruction will not be compromised! I can go back to work next week (if all goes well at the Filling Station tomorrow), I can return to my "new normal" world, and I can start working out! Carmen Electra, eat your heart out! 

This Thanksgiving has been very special to me. Although Nathan and Logan were in Wisconsin, and Parker and I were in Alabama, I have no doubt that we were all together in spirit. My aunt and uncle Tina and John Wilson made a traditional feast like I remember as a child, and I joined a couple of cousins at the eternal kiddie table. I could have eaten nothing but the oyster dressing and canned cranberry sauce, but I didn't exhibit that much self control. It was a good time with family and friends, and we were grateful for so many things. I am thankful for more babies on the way (not mine!). I am thankful for my amazing Mama, the support of my friends and family (all of you - no matter where you are), and for modern medicine. I am grateful for Logan, Parker and Nathan, and for the health and happiness of the people who surround me.

God Bless,

Bean