Little sis Jayme classifies people into one of two categories...good or bad eggs. A good egg is, of course, someone who meets a certain criteria, which Jayme defines at will to suit a given situation. A bad egg, likewise, does not meet a defined set of characteristics, but criteria determined by the situation. One can be both a good egg and a bad egg, but not in the same circumstance. But mostly, when one hits good egg status, he or she stays there in Jayme's head and rarely ever hits bad egg status moving forward. Jayme is, in my opinion, a good egg. She has a heart of gold, and is a true friend. And she is friends with all types of people. She has more friends in different circles than anyone I've ever known...a lot of unlike friends. It's like she takes a little bit of herself and connects with someone that way. And once her friend, a friend for life. She is a good egg.
Mama has a presentation that she shared with me once called "Carrots, Eggs and Cocoa." It's a great management presentation, and I love it's complexity and significance to a team. The presentation describes what happens when you place 3 different items (carrots, eggs and cocoa) into hot water (your job). Eggs have a soft heart before they go into the hot water, but they come out hard boiled and are served with a cold, hard center. Even a good egg can change under pressure and end up with a cold, hard heart. We don't want to be eggs or carrots when work becomes hot water...but we want to work together as many ingredients (a cohesive team) coming together to make the water (work) something great (i.e., hot cocoa).
When I was told that having breast cancer at 32 raised my chances of having a 2nd breast tumor (not a recurrence, but another breast cancer altogether), I came to grips with cutting Bess and Gretchen out of my life for good. When I was told that that chance varied between 25-50% (the longer I live, the greater the percentage), I had no doubt that a bilateral (both) mastectomy was the right choice for me. At first, I thought, "Wow! I'm going to end up with a boob job out of this deal!" I mean, let's be honest. I've been a 36DD since my Sophomore year at Alabama (yeah, late bloomer). I've had two kids. Bess and Gretchen aren't in all that good of shape these days anyway - so the thought of having perky breasts again was kind of enlightening. And then there was the voice of reality. As I was surfing the internet for the shape and size I wanted, it hit me that I might better be looking at pictures of reconstructed breasts. Gone were the thoughts of perky Blake Lively breasts. Nope, those thoughts no longer live here. They been replaced with our good friend reality. Reality brings images of scarred breasts and tattooed nipples (yes, tattooed - I don't get to keep my God-given nipples - there's an eye-opener). Now, there is some really nice reconstruction work out there...I just have to find it.
I've had 3 surgical consults for reconstruction. My mastectomy surgeon, Dr. Hatmaker, has been with me from the beginning. She explained that I am havingreconstruction, as opposed to cosmetic surgery, and that I would want to meet with surgeons who are sensitive to the needs of a breast cancer patient. She also encouraged me to meet with as many reconstructive surgeons as I needed to meet with to feel comfortable with my decision to have a mastectomy and reconstruction. She recommended 3 different surgeons for reconstruction.
My first consult was with a primarily cosmetic surgeon in town. He comes highly recommended from anyone who has had cosmetic breast surgery in town. He does really nice work. He used to do a lot of reconstruction, but is now primarily cosmetic. But you know, I am 32 years old, and cosmetic is still important to me. I don’t just want to be put back together, but put back together nicely. So I went to see Dr. 90210 to see what he had to say. The appointment was lovely. The staff members served me a Diet Coke with a straw (so as not to disturb my lipstick, I imagine). They took pictures of me from 5 angles – straight on, 45 degrees to left and right, and 90 degrees to left and right. They printed the pictures and Dr. 90210 discussed the “natural droopiness” of Bess and Gretchen…where they’ve been, where they are now, and where they should be. I left confident in his ability to get Shelby and Yvette in the right direction - but he was still cosmetic.
The second consult was in a disheveled office. Frumpy staff, paperwork mountains everywhere, some sort of product on the walls that I can only assume is a splash of something that wasn’t cleaned up after a spill. While I liked Dr. #2, and I learned a lot from her, I will use this as an example in my professional life about what a healthcare space should not look like. I left thinking, “If you can’t take care of your office then how can you take care of me?”
I was getting discouraged by my third appointment. I went into the well-decorated and well-cared for office of Dr. #3. The office was busy, and we waited for a while to see the surgeon. This was explained to us throughout the appointment, which lasted 2 hours. While some people would be concerned with the wait, I was more interested in the “why.” The surgeon explained to us that although it was unusual to happen like this, he had 4 breast cancer patients in the office (in different rooms) overlapping. I thought it was refreshing to know that there were that many breast cancer patients consulting with or following up with him! That means he likely sees a lot of breast cancer patients, and he is familiar with breast cancer reconstruction. What he didn’t say is that breast cancer patients require a little more attention because the matter is so sensitive. I can only imagine who most of us are…breaking down uncontrollably about losing our breasts and having to be pieced back together like Humpty Dumpty. The reality is, if all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again, how can one man put me back together in a way that is pleasing to look at? And that’s the cosmetic piece. Nathan and I left the appointment, not focused on the lengthy appointment that we had, but on the connection that we felt with the surgeon. At some point during that connection, I gave Dr. Quintero my blog site. He sent me an email at 1:18am that solidified the connection. His email was an apology for the wait time, but he also connected on a personal level. He told me that the top songs on the chart in February 1979 (my birth month) was "Do ya think I'm sexy?" by Rob Stewart (in reference to my "oozing sexiness" blog post) and Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive." Let's call that a God-wink. The next song was "Tragedy" by the Bee Gees (which I'll have to look up the lyrics to), followed by "I Will Survive" again! Now if that's not a God-wink I don't know what is! He also shared a story that I am going to share without his permission, but I found it so inspiring that I cannot resist.
Dr. Quintero said he ran into “Jesus” one day…”not the Jesus Christ, but the Mexican guy who cuts the grass in my neighborhood…I talked to him one afternoon that he saw me kind of sad and I explained to him [some personal] circumstances. He told me ‘Don't lose hope or faith, because God sometimes squeezes hard, but does not intend to choke us’. Great advice and words of encouragement, and coming from someone who's name is Jesus. Kind of Funny.” Mama is going to die when I write this, but I feel for some reason that this man is supposed to rebuild my body. He is my “king’s men.” He did show me some pictures of his work during my appointment, and he does do nice work! He’s a good egg. That Jesus is a pretty good egg, too.
The point of my sharing the story is this: God speaks to us in mysterious ways, and it is up to us to hear the message. You wouldn’t expect it to come from a landscaper, but wisdom like that coming from Jesus is pretty crystal clear! When it’s that good, you have to put your listening ears on…and prepare to pick up the pieces.
