SATURDAY, OCTOBER 22, 2011 2:33 PM, EDT
Destination Unknown
Destination: San Francisco
Souvenir (Planned in advance, as always): Original artwork from a starving artist and Ghirardelli Chocolates...from the factory
Destination: New Orleans
Souvenir: Mardi Gras beads and masks, Chicory from Cafe du Monde, Pralines, and something voodoo
Destination: Napa-Sonoma (Wine Country)
Souvenir: Cakebread Chardonnay from the year that we were married
Destination: Italy
Souvenir: Truffles, both black and white, and a silk scarf, and original artwork
Destination: Mexico
Souvenir: "Good" Tequila
Destination: Door County, Wisconsin
Souvenir: Original Artwork
Destination: Madison, Wisconsin
Souvenir: Capitol Brewery's Dopplebock Blonde, New Glarus Brewing Company's Spotted Cow (both beers)
Destination: Montgomery, Alabama or Sauk/Prairie, Wisconsin
Souvenir: Nothing tangible, just new memories
In the eleventh grade, I frequented thrift stores. Determined not to have the same thing as everyone else, I found thrift stores the perfect place to update vintage looks. I may have gone a little overboard with the vintage, and a little "under-board" with the updating.
I bought a lunch box (yes, I bought a lunch box in the eleventh grade - I told you I was into vintage) with primary colored arrows on it. The arrows were pointing in every which way, and in bold lettering across the bottom, the lunch box said "DESTINATION UNKNOWN." For some reason, I liked the idea of not being in control of where my life was headed, as if I had just shown up a the airport with a wad of cash and said, "Surprise me!" This is still a dream of mine...going to the airport and saying, "Surprise me!"
However romantic the notion may sound, destination unknown is really impractical if you really think about it. How would you know what to pack? Sunscreen or bug spray? Swimsuit or winter coat? And don't even get me started on what shoes to wear!
No, no, I'm afraid we must prepare for our journeys. Okay, so maybe planning the souvenir is a bit much, but it saves time. And when the research is done properly, it also saves money. It’s not like there’s a rule that you can’t buy something that you like if it wasn’t planned! Now that would just be silly! But must still prepare for a journey.
So how do you prepare for a surgical journey? When you are preparing to deliver a baby, you take a hospital bag with toiletries, extra make up for pictures, a FABULOUS nightgown. You prepare your home with the baby’s room, diapers, and other necessities. Mastectomy is a bit different from delivering a baby. And yet, the preparation is very much the same.
My house is not practical for a time in which I will come home from a hospital, unable to raise my arms more than a couple of inches. My closet requires me to lift my arms above my head to reach my clothes. And then there are my clothes…now I am a girl who loves a good cardigan, but most of my clothes go over my head. I have raided Nathan’s closet for button up shirts that I can hang on the slacks and skirts bar in my closet. I’ve placed pajama pants (which I plan to make a staple of my post-surgical wardrobe) on shelves that are lower than waist level rather than having them in the heavy drawers of my dresser. My hospital bag does not contain a lacy nightgown that reminds me of Angelina Jolie’s pictorial in People Magazine after she had the twins. Instead, I’ve traded that nightgown in for a pair of pink and gray flannel PJs that my boss Tammy gave me, and some warm fuzzy socks and a plush pink robe) given to me by BF Cathy (also a survivor). I’ve packed the beautiful prayer quilt from my dear friends at Montgomery’s Episcopal Church of the Ascension (where I grew up). And of course, I have squish – a pillow that has so few feathers left in it that it feels like a pillow of air. I have headbands/scarves, toothbrush, make-up and Amazing Grace, I have a framed picture of Logan and Parker and Nathan, and one of my mother and sisters. Other than that, I don’t know how to prepare for this.
I have always had vivid dreams, and lately my subconscious has been on fire! I’ve had a dream that my boss’s boss Shelley was going to perform my mastectomy, but that she couldn’t begin until she finished “practicing” on the patient next door. And the only thing I found strange about that dream while I was dreaming was that Shelley was wearing bright blue scrubs, and Shelley would never wear that color. I had another dream that my mastectomy was complete. I awoke from my surgery, looked into my surgical gown and said, “They’re bigger than I expected.” Then I heard a man in my room snoring. I looked up at the nurses and asked, “A shared room? I’m sharing a room? With a man? That is my only complaint about this whole thing! Let’s work on that!” Then they let me go to the restroom, which had big panel windows. People were waving at me as I tried to go to the restroom (stage fright…who’d have guessed?). I came back into my room and said to the nurses, “Complaint number 2.” My dream book says that dreaming of a surgeon (let’s pretend I’m not thinking about an impending surgery) denotes that “you are threatened by enemies who are close to you in business…For a young woman, this…promises a serious illness from which she will experience great inconvenience.” No kidding…those words! It’s a shame that’s all I get from that book. I knew that already! I was kind of hoping for something that would help me in preparing for this future destination…destination unknown. As it turns out, I’m just along for the ride, lacking control, and trying my best to enjoy it.
Destination: Unknown
No comments:
Post a Comment