Celebrity Status

FRIDAY, JUNE 24, 2011 9:41 PM, EDT

Celebrity Status

Nathan and I were lying in bed the other night, and I went back to Caring Bridge to edit something I had posted minutes earlier. I came back into the bed room and proclaimed, “I have fans! In the ten minutes after I posted that journal entry in the cancer blog, over 15 people have looked at my site!”

Nathan: You know people can sign up for notifications when you post, right?

Me: Well, yeah, but I didn't know people were doing it! That’s cool!  

Nathan: That’s kind of creepy if you think about it.

I went to the bathroom, and returned to find Nathan looking at his iPhone. “So are you one of my creepy followers?”

Nathan: Yeah…I am.

I smiled. 16 fans, I thought…so cool.

I don’t know how many avid email-notification readers I have, but Caring Bridge does tell me that I average 1000 hits/week, which I think is pretty fun. So in my grandiose head, I figure at 1000 hits/week, I have to have a couple hundred people getting email notifications, which I think is AWESOME!  I’ve already said that this has been  therapeutic for me, but what I really appreciate is the sense of normalthat is has given us. Nathan hasn’t had to be a PR Rep for my disease status (which he never would have been comfortable with in any capacity), and Caring Bridge allows you a way to stay updated without feeling like you are intruding. And there’s nothing creepy about that!

Unfortunately with fans also come critics. I knew this would happen when I started the cancer blog, so I hope that I can handle it with grace and style. I have already asked Mama not to ask me to censor the blog again, and she has politely refrained from doing so. I appreciate this, because as much as she doesn’t care for the cursing in the earlier entries, it was certainly an honest reflection of my feelings at the time. Necessary? Probably not, but I’ve always been a bit of a potty mouth (okay, a BIG potty mouth). I simply like the English language…every last bit of it. And quite frankly, I have censored myself from dropping any f-bombs…and anyone who knows me over the last 15 years knows that ILOVE an appropriately inappropriate f-bomb. I mean, even Mama knows I love a good f-bomb. She was with me once driving from Wisconsin to Alabama in what appeared to be the most unfriendly of road trips EVER! We stopped at a truck stop and called Tiff from a pay phone…yeah, I don’t remember what year it was, but we clearly didn’t have a cell phone, or the battery died because I distinctly remember using the payphone – I remember the pay phone because while I was on it, this dirty old man dropped some change on the floor beside me so that he could look up my skirt. Mama thought it was funny, and I thought that was funny. Anyway, Tiff was like, “Where are y’all?” And I looked around until I found a sign, “We’re in Effingham.” Except Effingham came out like “F-ing-ham.” Mama and I laughed for the next few hours about F-ing-ham…sometimes that’s where I feel like cancer should go – F-ing-ham. The point of that, of course, is that although I have politely obliged Mama’s request to not use profanity so much in the cancer blog, I have never been a big fan of censorship…if the mood suits it, the potty mouth will come out in full force again.

Another one of my critics “good griefed” me for using theComic Sans font in one of my posts. Come on, now, it’s a font for crying out loud! You’re going to criticize my font choice? My rebuttal here is this: I choose a font style and color to suit my entry…it’s no less than an extra description of my mood. You who wore the mood ring in high school ought to identify with this need for self-expression. And furthermore, I encourage you (and you and you) to be more creative in the way of your font and color choices for your own guest book postings…How’s that for critique? :-)

Somewhere between fans and critics, I feel as though I’ve reached celebrity status. When you think of celebrities, you think of US magazine (don’t act like you don’t read it). And what do we see in US magazine? We see celebrities parading around in front of paparazzi with their swag. Swag is free stuff that celebrities get because they are viewed as highly influential. You see your favorite Kardashian walking around with the new Chloe bag or Prada sunglasses, and you just have to have them, right? And when you see the price tag in this economy, you find something comparable in appearance, right? That’s how swag-vertisements (I’m coining that phrase…clever, isn’t it?) work. The person who can afford it most gets it for free, uses their highly influential celebrity to make us want it, and we wait until it goes on sale at TJ Maxx to purchase it! But the truth of the matter is we will most likely never be privy to swag. We’ll have to work for our labels…or we get cancer. Cancer patients, like the Kardashians, get showered with swag!

I attended a class this week, compliments of the American Cancer Society and the National Cosmetology Association, called Look Good…Feel Better. This is a free make-up class. Now, I think that I am the last person who needs a make-up class. I take pretty good care of my skin, and I’ve always been asked to apply make-up to other people. In high school, it was a running joke within the Sisterhood that I learned a new make-up trick when “I read it in a magazine.” It was kind of my catch-phrase. To be honest, Mama has always applied gorgeous eye make-up, and I learned most of what I know by watching her (and not just about make-up). And when I went to college in T-town, I would do other people’s eyes all the time. So to be honest, I could have taught this Look Good…Feel Better course, and the instructor even said that in the class! But I was more interested in keeping my classmate Doris in stitches. She might be my biggest fan! The class was fun…a nice little lunch break. But what I loved most about it? I walked away with a $300 swag bag of new Chanel make-up, Avon moisturizers, Mary Kay cleansers, Estee Lauder and Clinique products! These companies have paired with the ACS and NCA to send cancer patients home with a swag bag that makes them feel better about their looks during treatment! Super cool!

And that’s not all the swag that cancer patients are eligible for! There’s a whole world of swag out there that you wouldn’t know about unless you had to…As it turns out, there is A LOT of charity related to cancer that isn’t related to medical research. Through the American Cancer Society, I am eligible to get a free wig. I wasn’t planning to get a wig, but I am a sucker for free stuff. And the more I think about it, the more I think there might be a time where I would feel more comfortable with a head full of hair. When my niece Liv found out that I have cancer, she asked Jayme,” Does that mean Bean gets to wear a wig? She should go with crimson.” I’ve always been a fan of crimson (ROLL TIDE ROLL!), so I’m thinking Liv may be right…and I could always use a little extra sass!

There are companies who charter free private flights for cancer patients to get to their cross-country treatments. So for people like me who are traveling to MD Anderson for a 2nd opinion for my funky-tumor in July, there are options that don’t involve flying on a crowded airplane at the time that I am least able to fight infection. And options that allow me to focus my finances toward my medical care as opposed to multiple flights.    

Cleaning for a Reason is a not for profit organization that accepts applications for 4 monthly house cleanings for patients currently in treatment. As a 32 year old mother of 2 children under 3, I am thinking that this swag best suits my needs!

There are several breast cancer walks that I have participated in. I’ve walked in honor of Granny, who is a Survivor. I always considered it to be an honor to walk for her, and now I have a unique opportunity…I have an opportunity to give back. One of my team members at Jewish Hospital Medical Center South (shout out to Amber Cruise) has become Team Captain and created TEAM BEAN in my honor.  I’m a team – WHAT AN HONOR! Anyone in the Louisville area can participate by walking in the Making Strides for Breast Cancer walk on Sunday, October 23, 2011. That will be one month after my chemo treatments end, and the Sunday prior to my surgery. I plan to walk my heart out that day because it will be the last exercise I will get before I am introduced to Shelby and Yvette…after which I will be in recovery for about 2 months or more. If you’d like to donate to a great cause, or if you’d like to walk with us, please join TEAM BEAN at http://makingstrides.acsevents.org/site/TR/?team_id=978477&pg=team&fr_id=36122 . The t-shirt will say TEAM BEAN across the back! So cool! 

Since D-Day, I have recruited fans and critics, scored some swag, inspired a line of t-shirts (get your own Support Bean clothing and accessories atwww.cafepress.com/SupportourBean ), and inspired a fundraiser team. I am pretty sure that secures my celebrity status! It’s really a damn shame that Oprah’s show ended! I could have inspired so many people!