Plan of Attack

THURSDAY, JUNE 2, 2011 8:11 PM, EDT

Plan of Attack

WHAT a crazy week this has been...so much information in so little time...

Tuesday 5/24: Annual Exam and breast ultrasound order

Wednesday: Breast Ultrasound and Biopsy to follow

Thursday: Biopsy and Ultrasound report available, pathology report pending

Friday: Pathology Report available, Diagnosis = Breast Cancer

Saturday: MRI

Tuesday 5/31: Mama and Jayme arrive

Wednesday: Mammogram and Surgical Consult, Lack of sleep + deviation form the plan = total breakdown

Thursday: Oncology Consult, Positive attitude returns

Surgical Consult: I was expecting to go in, guns blazing, ready to accept the hard truth. I was ready to ask her to take every bit of breast tissue that I have, leaving this cancer no place to return to. I thought that this would be done by the end of the month so that we could coordinate with a Plastic Surgeon who could give me a nice new set of ta-tas (who I have preliminarily dubbed Shelby and Yvette - don't ask why, I have nothing for you in the way of explanation of where the names of my new boobs came from - I can't share everything!).

My experience was far different from what I was prepared for...and if you know me, you know that I don't like surprises, or a deviation from my "plan." Ha! God will break me of this idiosyncrasy, I am sure of it! My surgeon went through all of the pathology reports, and explained what was what...then she told me that the first course of treatment was not surgery, but chemo therapy, I was okay. Then she explained why the chemo is first:

So the cancer is in my right breast, with no evidence of cancer in my left breast or my lymph nodes (YEA!). So naturally, the surgeon can take off the breast, cutting out the cancer and leave nothing behind, right? She can take the cancer out and "cure" me...Survey says, "X." What?! You mean to tell me that when I am diagnosed with cancer, even though the cancer is in my breast, there are cancer cells in my blood, just hiking around looking for a nice place to set up camp? A new place to call home? A liver, a bone or a brain? So even after you cut off my breasts that I prayed so hard for, the cancer can spread ("metastasize") to other parts of my body? And that there are so many variations  of breast cancer, and each variation has it's own treatment variations...I'm sorry, but how did I never know that about cancer? I work in health care for crying out loud!! 

So the surgeon says to me, "Blah, blah, blah , blah cancer...blah, blah, blah blah cancer...blah, blah, blah blah...cancer." Then she says, "Cutting off your breasts is not going to make you live longer." I wanted to scream.  WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO MAKE ME LIVE LONGER? And longer than WHAT? This is where you fill in the Mad Libs blank with a noun, lady!! She then explains to me that if I don'ttake off my breasts, I have a 30-40% chance of asecond breast cancer forming in remaining breast tissue...taking the breasts takes that down to 0%. But because I have the little friends (the rif-raf) of my breast cancer floating around in my blood, just waiting looking for a nice place to retire, we have to treat the blood first. "Treating the blood is, however, how we make you live longer," she says. And this is when she received her invite to my circle of trust.

Enter the Oncologist, let's call him the Sheriff. The Sheriff treats the blood, which means he automatically becomes a lifetime member of the aforementioned circle of trust. In my case, he treats the blood with a combination chemo 1 day every 2 weeks for 4 sessions. After that, I will have a second "round" of chemo, a different drug for the same duration...so in total, a 15 week treatment. At that point, we will do another MRI to see if the chemo is effective. If so, I will be on a drug to suppress my production of estrogen, essentially putting me into menopause at 32 years old. This should prevent the growth of the tumor that I have, as well as prevent a tumor of the same type from growing in my breast (since tests show that estrogen is feeding my current cancer). So much for my "prime" (sorry Nathan)!

After the Sheriff evicts the rif-raf, we will discuss surgical options to take care of public enemy #1, including a double mastectomy vs. lumpectomy and radiation, as well as surgically ablating ("frying") my ovaries so that they no longer produce estrogen. As long as my body produces estrogen, there is a greater chance of my cancer cells multiplying. What a fun year of choices this is going to be!

So Bess and Gretchen are here for now...Shelby and Yvette will just have to wait until the rif-raf leaves.

I do have some lifestyle changes to make...I am encouraged by the Sheriff to engage in 30-40 minutes of Cardio 5 days/week, eat extra servings of fruits and veggies daily, and stop drinking...forever. As it turns out, studies show that alcohol increases the incidence of breast cancer, as well as recurrence. That's right kids, I had my last glass of wine this evening, and I went out in style - 2005 Cakebread Chardonnay at its peak...it doesn't get much better than that. If I can follow this regimen, I should be in the best shape of my life by Derby 2012.

The good news is, the chemo that seems to be a good match for my cancer can done over a course of about 6 hours every two weeks. My Oncologist sees patients in my building, and I can receive chemo there (3 miles from my home). There is a very good chance that I will not get "sick" from my chemo (although "sick" is a relative term at this point). I will definitely lose my hair - so look forward to some pics of my fantastic new accessory additions coming soon...My fashion forecast says that the must haves of the season are bright scarves and drop earrings!

On a funny note, Logan said this evening when I put him to bed, "I love you Mommy. I love your eyes; I love your face; I love your hair." 

Me: What would you think if Mommy's hair looked like Parker's? 

Logan: That's funny! 

Me: Would that be okay with you? 

Logan: Yes, ma'am. 

Then he says (in a totally innocent stall tactic kind of way), "I love your boobies." And I thought...I am sooo not having this conversation with a two year old!!