Synergy

THURSDAY, JUNE 16, 2011 7:07 PM, EDT

Synergy

Okay, so I have laughed more since I was diagnosed with cancer than maybe I ever have before. I have laughed out of fear, laughed out of pure happiness with my husband and children, and laughed at so many responses that I have gotten from this Journal, which I will forever refer to as "the cancer blog." Some of your Guestbook posts have brought tears to my eyes, and I love that in the last few weeks I have been called an "inspiration," an "idol" (I take that like an American Idol, not an idol of the golden cow variety), and a "talented writer." These are some of the most humbling and overall flooring compliments that I could ever receive. Your comments and prayers continue to inspire me and ignite my words, so as it turns out we are inspiring one another! How's that for synergy?

Synergy is a funny thing...According to the American Heritage Dictionary, synergy is defined as "the interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects." I first learned about synergistic relationships when working in research with Dr. Fred Lee, Jr. He said that a multi-disciplinary team (in our case a pretty brilliant Engineer, a pretty brilliant MD/PhD then-student, a very knowledgeable Vet Tech, and myself - the girl who was in the right place at the right time, all under the guidance of amazingly brilliant Radiologist, and a couple of amazingly brilliant Engineers - all of us foodies, and all of usfriends) was the perfect example of synergy - individually, we could only do so much, but together, we were doing incredible things...like curing liver cancer...yeah, that's pretty amazing stuff. And the research that we did was also synergistic - one probe could only do so much, but when you could send energy through 3 of them simultaneously, they worked in synergy to treat larger tumors in a smaller period of time. If this isn't stimulating to you, you're just not ready for modern medicine! It's really pretty cool!

That's what I was doing in Wisconsin all those years...or for at least a few of them...doing my part to cure cancer. Ironic? Not so much. It's not like it was breast cancer. But it wasrewarding...in soooo many ways. I am published in medical journals, which at any stage in a CT Technologist's career is a reward in and of itself; I traveled to DC, New Orleans, Chicago, and Como, Italy - I know I already mentioned that, but it is worth mentioning again, and I have mantras!...Fred Lee, Jr. gave me many words of wisdom. He probably didn't expect me to take them on as full-on mantras! He once told me with a staged generalization that there were three kinds of people in the world: 1) There is the person who builds himself up by building only himself up; 2) There is the person who build's himself up by knocking others down; 3) and there is the person who builds himself up by building others up around him. That was the moment that I decided to put my best foot forward and make a move towards management. I loved my position in research, but I wanted to grow others. My quest for management, which Nathan has supported me in whole-heartedly began in Reno, Nevada (which people there pronounce ne va' da...with a short "a." Not to be mistaken for ne vah' da, with an "ah" sound. That drove my Southern roots crazy! I would have pronounced it with an "ah" my whole life if I hadn't moved there...and been promptly corrected!

One of the things that I have laughed about over the last few weeks is that BF Nicole, the boys' fairy Godmother "CoCo." called me the other day. She was giggling, as if she shouldn't even branch into the story she was about to tell me...but Nicole knows that we're pretty low drama. To date we've never gotten into so much as an argument, and I don't plan to start now! So this is how the conversation went through her silly giggles:

Bean: Spit it out!

CoCo (giggling): How long have I known you?

Bean: 10 years...what are you laughing about??

CoCo (still giggling): And how long would you say we've been classified as best friends?

Bean (didn't even have to think about it): 6 years.

CoCo (still gigging): That's what I thought! So I looked at your Caring Bridge, and I was reading your Guest Book, and I am thinking, "How do I not know any of these people?" Seriously Bean! You have a lot of support! Who are all of these people?!

Bean (now both giggling hysterically): Are you surprised that I have friends?! I have lived in 4 states in 32 years, and I had 22 years of friends before I met you!

So funny...I guess sometimes I forget how many places I have lived, and how many connections I have made in each place. I have been fortunate to make very close friends in each state, be involved in Church and communities, work with wonderful people, and make connections through my family! Now that's love synergy at its best!

So for those of you who'd like an actual health update, I had my first chemo appointment yesterday. I woke up sliding my hand on my pillow, looking for stray hair. There were 3. 3 total stray hairs. That was, to say, a little disappointing. I was kind of hoping for a mass exodus. But no. I got 3 stray hairs. I guess I figure I've spent my last 32 years trying to get this hair to do something - perms, dye, perms, highlights, bangs, dye, long, short, highlights, fringe - you name it, I've tried it! I really hope that it will be liberating for me to let it go! I hope that I embrace it like I imagine I will! I have promised someone that when it starts really falling out, I am going to shave it into a mohawk and dedicate my post to her that day...so look for some fun pics! And I'd like to give a HUGE thanks to my cousin and friend Mary Katherine, who sent me my first and only Hermes scarf this weekend! What an outstanding gift for a self-proclaimed materialistic girl! I love you MKat, and I always have! I will wear it proudly, and there will be many pics to come!

I went into the local Wig Shoppe last Friday with Mama. The lady who runs the place is so very sweet, and if she's reading this - I LOVE YOUR SHOP! And I promise you didn't offend me! I clearly have a sense of humor (albeit dark and twisted at times). 

Wig Shoppe Lady: Can I help you, hun? 

SIDE NOTE - Normally I would get sassy and say, "Yes, but I'm not your hun," but clearly this lady is from New Orleans, because she meant every inch of that drawn butter, two syllable "hun."

Me: Well, I think I just want to look at your scarves. I am newly diagnosed with breast cancer, and I think I am going to rock my baldness.

Wig Shoppe Lady: Oh, you know what, you have the face for it...super skinny people never look cute bald, but I bet you can really pull that off!

Me: Thanks...(fake smile, turn to Mama with raised eye brow and signature crinkle forehead)...I think (fake smile).

Love her anyway!

I am feeling great aside from the disappointing hair loss. I am loaded with steroids called Decadron that make me want to go buy a fresh coat of paint for my living room. Let me just tell you that Prednisone has nothing on Decadron in the way of energy! And I'm feeling "Decadron-chic," which is my new term for a little puffy (so I bet I'll look even better bald). But other than that, I had the most productive day at work since my diagnosis (D-Day). This should last for the duration of the steroids - 3 days...and then we shall see how I truly react to chemo. But until then, I'll enjoy the synergy of the chemo, the Decadron, the nausea meds, and the prayers coming my way from all over the country!

Mama has gone home to sell her house, so please pray for continued safe travels (and for a speedy sale). Nathan's parents are coming in tomorrow, so please pray for safe travels for them as well...and patience as I come down from Decadron-chic to Decadron-crash, because that's when I will likely be at my worst through this process, and when I will need the most help...and please say a prayer for my husband, who has been so endearing through this so far...I don't give him half the credit or praise that he deserves for his strength...I have all the respect in the world for you...for this, and for so much more.